My life is just like a video game. There are days when I just can’t believe the quality of the graphics, and I’m totally into whatever mission I’m assigned. There’s a big ol’ arrow showing me where to go, and I stumble into an area of the game where there is free money as well as bonus points. These days are the best.
Then, there are the other days.
Those are the days when you can’t beat the bad guy, you’re really confused about how to complete your assignment, and DAMN IT, you keep getting killed before the save point and have to go back and do the whole freaking level over again. Those days are the worst.
For the past few months, I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in that bad part of a video game. Like everyone, I live inside my own little world, and often forget to look past the end of my nose and put things into perspective.
What I’ve failed to notice during my self-absorption is that I am slowly yet surely “leveling up” in my life, just like everyone around me. For anyone born before 1980, here’s what that means.
Once upon a time, it was hard for me to tie my shoes. Then, that became second nature – I leveled up and acquired the skill, and from that point on I didn’t have to think about it.
I’m finally seeing that we learn to tie our shoes for our entire life. Leveling up is frustrating, and instead of learning from the past and realizing that we will eventually master these lessons, we embrace despair like it’s our friend, and not just any friend.
We embrace despair like it’s our super hot friend we have an unhealthy relationship with – the one who makes snarky comments about our thighs, then steals our boyfriend. Yes, that friend.
There are definitely days where I’m going to lose the game right before the save point. There are going to be times when I have to do the whole level again from the beginning, and I will sit like Ian does in front of his Xbox and bellow, “Oh my god, that’s SO CHEAP! ARGH!” at a situation I can’t do anything to change.
And then, inexplicably, after doing the same thing ten times and wanting to quit my life, I’m going to hear the magical little “ding” that means I’ve leveled up, and if I’m lucky I might even get a free life out of the deal, or at least a bit of a recharge.
As much as I might tease Ian for sitting around in his boxer shorts and blowing things up on Xbox, I can see the appeal. I can only imagine what pleasure I would get from turning my nasty customers into super villains and blowing them up.
Dear video game makers, I have just handed you a bajillion-dollar idea – let us create our supervillians from scratch! Guaranteed to sell well with the self-employed demographic.
In all seriousness (although seriously, that’s a damn good idea), this is my reminder to myself that feeling stuck just means I haven’t built up the experience I need to move on to the next level of my life. When I rearrange me thinking to fit that train of thought, it makes the hard stuff a lot easier to swallow.
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3 Responses to “And then you die right before the save point”
you aren’t kidding…sometimes I think I saved and then I go back and realize that I needed to save to a freakin memory card which I didn’t put in the machine…I am wondering though…do I want to be playing in the game of x-box..came cube ps III or the WI!!!!!!
diana
I think despair is required to “level up”. You can’t climb stairs without feelin’ it in the knees.
What a great post and a great metaphor for learning these lessons over and over until we master them.