When a washer gets unbalanced, one side ends up full of wet, heavy, tangled clothes. The other side ends up empty. Which side gets all of your cursing and muttering while you try to get the damn thing running again?
There are days when I hate owning my business. There are days when I come into my office and feel so overwhelmed by the demand on my time that I sit in front of my computer and accomplish nothing over the course of eight hours. These are the days that get the attention, the days that make me question getting out of bed in the morning.
There is a reason I started my business. If nothing else, I love the freedom that owning my schedule gives me, and when I am able to manage my time somewhat effectively I am a productive and successful individual. In fact, a few hours spent with my favorite clients can make my day a fantastic one.
Lately, I’ve been letting myself get off track. Everyone around me is screaming about the economy, how the sky is falling and nothing will ever go back to HOW GOOD IT WAS the past few years. I’ve never been a subscriber to that mindset; what goes up has to go down, just like the sun. I’d personally be pretty pissed off if we had 24 hours worth of sunshine – imagine what the additional fuel, sunscreen, shades, and sun shelters for our plants, animals and automobiles would cost.
The sun obviously goes down, and then comes up, goes down, comes up and goes down again. Daily. For our entire lives. So does the economy, the housing market, the price of fuel, everything. And still, I’ve suddenly found myself at the receiving end of anger and panic, of clients who blame me when their newly designed business cards fail to make new clients appear out of midair.
The thing is, when my job is good – when my clients understand that my goal is to help them, not to wickedly sabotage their businesses with business cards and professional stock photography – I really enjoy it. It’s not my first love, I happen to be a whiz kid when it comes to Photoshop and photography, and I enjoy using those skills to help people become more successful.
The good things are the empty side of the unbalanced washing maching, and it’s the side that gets very little of my attention, and even less of my writing. It’s not fair, because that side – the great clients, the fun projects, the flexible schedule, making a difference in the way people can run their businesses – is why I started a business in the first place.
I’m excited that American Idol turned out the way it did, because I’ve recognized a few things from the experience. I need to end some client relationships that leave me feeling unhappy, and I need to get cracking with the blog because there are people telling me that my honesty helps them in their own lives. Most of all I need to remember that what goes up has to go down, and that if I hold on tightly enough when I’m on the bottom, I can ride that cycle right back up to the top.
I’ve got some fantastic people around me who love and care for me, and I can thank them by picking my mopey self up out of the gutter and getting back to my usual routine of seizing life one damn day at a time.
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