RockstarCarlene.com: The Unrelenting Optimist

It’s surprisingly hard to do something as little as say aloud, “I hope this great, fun opportunity works out for me!”  I am so excited to go to Boston and do American Idol auditions with Ian and our friends, and yet I find myself toning it down as though it’s no big deal.  It’s as though we don’t want anyone to think we actually want to get through to the judges, or that we might actually want to get on the show, just in case it doesn’t work out.

So, even though it’s a little embarassing to be lumped in with the crazies of the show, I’ll put it out there.  I do want to go on American Idol.  I love the show, and would love to have such an amazing experience in my life.  The chances are depressingly low for anyone to get on the show.  I know this because this is the third time I will have auditioned, and it will be the first time I will actually “go for it” and not feel meek.

When I first went to the auditions in New York, my friend and I were sure that I could at least get through to see Randy, Paula and Simon.  I’ve got a strong voice, I sing on key, and I’m anything but a wallflower.

Cue the experience.  Everyone at the audition is truly convinced they are the next American Idol, and here was the weird thing….they were all either hugely loud or super secretive about it.  Everywhere you went in the arena, people were holed up in any little cubby they could find, singing their hearts out….into a sweatshirt.

If that wasn’t the case, then the crazies – no, let’s officially call them The Crazies – would be standing on trashcans, countertops, stadium seats, anything they could find to broadcast HOW AWESOME THEY WERE to the entire stadium of 16,000 people.  9 times out of 10, how awesome they were was not awesome at all.

To explain the audition process a little more thoroughly, there is an actual stadium crammed with anywhere from 15,000-22,000 people.  At least half these people will sing.  The floor of the stadium is empty, and they start off the day filming with a crane to show how many people showed up.

After the initial filming is over (Ryan Seacrest shows up to get everyone amped, then scoots right out), there are 14 tables lined up across the empty floor of the stadium.  At each table sits two bored FOX employees (production crew, interns, assistants, coffeemakers, whoever they can get), and hopeful contestants are lined up four at a time in front of each table.

One person steps forward to sing for 10 seconds, then steps back, then the next person steps forward, and when all four have gone you step up to the table together to get your verdict and (hopefully) one of the elusive gold tickets.

The math involved here is staggering.  If you figure that there are 14 people singing at any given time, and that it only takes one minute to get through your entire group of four, that means that there are 56 people singing a minute.  The first time I went, it took a full half hour for anyone to get a ticket…..which means after 1,680 people auditioned, one person made it through to the next round…..of more producers.

But, I’m being honest here.  I want to get through, and although it’s a one in 1,680 chance I still want to go for it.  I made a bold statement to the Universe a few months ago.  I said, “I wouldn’t try out for American Idol again unless it came to Boston,” and then *boom* it’s in Boston.

So, I have to hold up my end of the bargain, and in a week I will have done it.  In the meantime, life continues as usual.